Fostering stories

Lauren and Danny have been fostering for almost five years and are currently fostering an older child and a teenager as well as having a six month old baby of their own. Both placements they have are long term, “they’re part of our family,” and she feels their baby has helped “cement” the family and the given the boys a role as older brothers.

Leona and her husband Chris have been fostering children for over eight years alongside their two birth children.

“We always knew we wanted to foster,” Leona explains. “My husband was given up for adoption as a baby and had a really positive experience. We had so much to offer and have both always loved being around children so we thought we’d give it a go.”

Both Leona and Chris’s own children and foster children have special and complex needs.

Lauren and Danny have been fostering for almost five years. They currently foster an older child and a teenager and have a six month old baby of their own. Both placements they have are long term, “they’re part of our family,” and having a baby has helped “cement” the family and the given the boys a role as older brothers.

Imran  has been in foster care for four years and music is his outlet.  He is very into fashion and likes going to gigs with his mates. Writing music gives him a chance to get his frustrations down on paper and he often writes about his experiences growing up in care. To help him work towards his ambition his foster carer has encouraged him to take part in talent shows at school and he’s also gone on a course to learn DJ skills. His foster carer hopes that one day she’ll be able to see his dream of working on X-Factor become a reality.

Elle Mae was then an enormous help in preparing her foster sister for the transition to her adoptive family. She made her an audio photo album as well as a memory box full of tactile things so that the little girl could feel them and remember the special things that she loved to do.

Ian and Kevin applied to Leeds after attending an information evening. They had a positive home visit and undertook the fostering assessment process. Ian and Kevin were new to Leeds so the Assessing Social Worker introduced them to local carers and discussed how the council could support them. Ian and Kevin were approved at panel to care for one child of primary school age.

It is a big responsibility accepting a mother and baby into your home but there is so much value in doing it.  You become their mentor; the person they need to be able to trust and rely on.  It can be quite scary at first, for all of us.  Inviting new people into your home, for it to also become their home, means they need to feel comfortable, relaxed, safe and secure. They need to feel free to use domestic appliances, you need to make sure you don’t feel as though you are losing control in your own home - it’s important to get the balance right.

‘I enjoy their company from just having a chat to taking part in activities together.’ Susan is in her late fifties and has been fostering for five years.

‘We were concerned that our religious beliefs would mean we wouldn’t be approved as foster carers, but thankfully this is not the case. Because we have been especially non-judgemental, patient and firm but kind, young people who have some behavioural problems have been able to thrive and be happy in our home. It is a safe calm place away from school which helps those who struggle there.’

Josh is part of a special sports club and enters competitions at a regional level. He’s been in foster care since he was little. When he arrived with his current carers he didn’t speak and had some challenging behaviours. His foster carers have received training to help them create routines and boundaries that give him a sense of security.

Josh’s foster carer says; ‘What stuck most were his eyes. They appeared dull like a candle with an odd flicker. Now over the years his eyes are shining bright and have a beautiful sparkle.’

‘We had a five bedroom house so had no excuse for not having enough room!’ Anne and Peter are foster carers for a brother and sister. Anne worked with children but felt that she wanted to do more with her skills.

‘We enjoy seeing the children develop and grow and knowing that the changes we are seeing in their behaviour, their attainment at school and their personal values are largely down to us and our providing consistent care.’

Tyler mostly wants to do what his big brother is doing and looks up to him as a role model. He’s actually more into dinosaurs than computer games but will sit with Oliver when he’s on his Xbox and much to his brother’s frustration always wants to play too.  Oliver loves science fiction and playing Minecraft.  His autism spectrum disorder means that he’s keen on structure and consistency and is happy to spend lots of time on his own, often learning and experimenting with how electronics work.

It’s about rewards and goals. Make the goals a bit higher each time, and persevere. Fostering is challenging but you know what – it’s rewarding as well. Some young people come to you with nothing, they’ve never had anything. They’ve never had any routine before. To see them flourish is fantastic!

Hear about what it's like to foster first hand; "The amount of people who would come up to me and say 'Oh I could never do that!'

“You’re probably too young to remember but it was the plight of the Vietnamese boat people that first got my husband and I interested in helping children,” says Stockport foster carer Glenys. “Because they were repatriated rather than fostered or adopted we couldn’t help them directly.

“But the idea of children that were in desperate need certainly opened our eyes the idea of fostering as a way of making a difference.”