Fostering stories

Olivia is 8 years old and is a bubbly character who is always laughing and singing. Olivia’s foster carers describe her as “very bright, sweet and beautiful”. They add that Olivia has a good sense of humour and charms them with her funny little sayings. Olivia enjoys music, singing and dancing and since being in foster care is becoming much more confident in trying new things, she has developed an interest in cooking since being with her current carers and enjoys spending time in the kitchen.

Diana had some preconceptions about being able to foster; “I’m a single woman with no birth children of my own. I was in my late forties and although I had a good job I’d never worked directly with children.”

“I remember the day I received the call offering my next placemen. I said yes and she arrived two hours later! She is now my beautiful seven year old daughter. She has overcome most of her problems now and I am so proud of her.”

Hear about what it's like to foster first hand; "The amount of people who would come up to me and say 'Oh I could never do that!'

It’s about rewards and goals. Make the goals a bit higher each time, and persevere. Fostering is challenging but you know what – it’s rewarding as well. Some young people come to you with nothing, they’ve never had anything. They’ve never had any routine before. To see them flourish is fantastic!

“You’re probably too young to remember but it was the plight of the Vietnamese boat people that first got my husband and I interested in helping children,” says Stockport foster carer Glenys. “Because they were repatriated rather than fostered or adopted we couldn’t help them directly.

“But the idea of children that were in desperate need certainly opened our eyes the idea of fostering as a way of making a difference.”

Susan combines fostering newborns with her job as a gym instructor. In the 15 years she’s been a foster carer she’s had around 10 placements, initially she fostered toddlers and but now mainly takes babies from birth; “It’s important that to develop their brain in that first year and rewarding seeing them meet all their milestones.”

Gill and Roger are 44 and 54 years old respectively and have children who are now teenagers. They decided the time was right to share their home with other children who are in need of a safe and happy place.  They really want to do all they can to make a difference to a young person’s life, and have now been fostering for 1.5 years.

Not everything was plain sailing when their foster daughter first came to live with them, it took some time for their whole family to become accustomed to their new situation.  However, the family worked together to adjust to everyone’s needs.

It is a big responsibility accepting a mother and baby into your home but there is so much value in doing it.  You become their mentor; the person they need to be able to trust and rely on.  It can be quite scary at first, for all of us.  Inviting new people into your home, for it to also become their home, means they need to feel comfortable, relaxed, safe and secure. They need to feel free to use domestic appliances, you need to make sure you don’t feel as though you are losing control in your own home - it’s important to get the balance right.

When Jack was six and Emily ten their mother died, their father became unable to cope and they were neglected. Jack and Emily went into foster care with a local family who already had a younger child. Their lives were turned upside down and they became shy and struggled at school. Neither of them was keen on trying anything new and they weren’t confident in their own abilities.

Mum of three Mary always thought her first year in fostering would mean caring for a baby or child with special needs.

But when she was offered the chance to foster a nine year old boy, she and her family decided age didn’t matter – and say it’s one of the best decisions they ever made.

'Sam fitted in really well right from the start which was good. Everyone in the family adored him and he made new friends very quickly in this new area,' said Mary who took Sam in on a long-term placement. He will now stay with her until he reaches adulthood.

Also teenagers will always remember you and the help you have given them when they become adults. That means a lot.
Letting teenagers into your home helps them to understand what it’s like to be in a loving family. The teenage years can be difficult enough as it is for young people, and those in foster care need to be shown a positive family experience to see how it can help them. As a foster carer myself, I think fostering teenagers is even more rewarding. Teenagers need as much love, care and protection as the little ones do.

Elle Mae was then an enormous help in preparing her foster sister for the transition to her adoptive family. She made her an audio photo album as well as a memory box full of tactile things so that the little girl could feel them and remember the special things that she loved to do.

Tyler mostly wants to do what his big brother is doing and looks up to him as a role model. He’s actually more into dinosaurs than computer games but will sit with Oliver when he’s on his Xbox and much to his brother’s frustration always wants to play too.  Oliver loves science fiction and playing Minecraft.  His autism spectrum disorder means that he’s keen on structure and consistency and is happy to spend lots of time on his own, often learning and experimenting with how electronics work.

Conor takes a lot of pride in his appearance, but he doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty when it comes to cars.  Now he’s in Year 11 he’s keen to leave school and get trained up as a mechanic. He’s struggled growing up in an environment where his sexuality wasn’t always accepted.  Coping with bullying and depression has meant he has missed quite a lot of school and is no longer in mainstream education.